Broken Frontier

Between work, shopping, visiting friends, family and other holiday appointments, spare time does tend to become a rare commodity during the Christmas season. Certainly, this is a time of year for giving, but sometimes you do need to take a few minutes out for yourself. There are few things more relaxing than filling up your eggnog, turning the lights on the tree and curling up with a good Christmas comic. This holiday season, I’d like to share a few of my favorite ones with you;

“A Very Special Jingle Belle Special”
Jingle Belle #1
Dark Horse Comics
November 2004
Written by Paul Dini
Art by Jose Garibaldi, Stephanie Gladden & Mark Caballero

Santa Claus. Rudolph. Frosty. Jingle Belle? Santa’s daughter decides that she’s had enough of being left out of the spotlight. Rather than take her pop’s advice, she concludes the best way to gain the world’s attention is to produce her very own holiday special. The result, which includes a brilliant send-up of the classic 1964 Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer stop-motion special, is nothing short of hilarious. Certainly, Dini offers up some important messages about the spirit of the season, the commercialization of Christmas and the danger of taking political correctness to an extreme, but he never loses sight of creating a fun, humorous and original Christmas story.

Clerks: Holiday Special

Oni Press
December 1998
Written by Kevin Smith
Art by Jim Mahfood

Nothing says "holidays" like pornography, Motley Crue, a caning and Weebles. Dante and Randall are back at it again, just in time for Christmas. As December 25th draws near, Dante reminds Randall of a fate bet made 15 Christmas' ago. That year, Randall received a denim jacket with a Motley Crue album cover painted on the back (anybody else remember those?). He bet that he's still be wearing it 15 years later, "because the Crue would always rule." While Dante ponders what to spend his winnings on, he decides to pay a visit to his X-GF, Caitlin (and you do remember what happened to her in Clerks, right..?). At the same time, Randall discovers a doorway between the Quick Stop and RST Video. Top it off with Jay and Silent Bob being recruited by Santa as elves, and you have…something very, very odd…

GLX-Mas Special
Marvel
February 2006
Written by Dan Slott
Art by Matt Haley, Georges Jeanty, Drew Geraci, Ty Templeton, Wil Quintana, Paul Grist, Laura Allred, Mike Kazaleh, Bill Crabtree, Mike Wieringo & Karl Kesel

Christmas is a time for good cheer and fun, two things that Dan Slott brings plenty of to in this one-shot (along with killer Christmas trees, ridiculous violence and humorous suicide). Filled with a healthy mix of dark humour and classic comic book fun, this comic staring the Midwest’s most unlikely heroes (The Great Lakes X-Men), is the perfect stocking stuffer for the comic fan in your life. Doorman, Big Bertha, Squirrel Girl, Tippey-Toe, Grasshopper, Mr. Immortal and Flatman star in 6 short stories that range from absurd (Deathurge tries to seek revenge in “Squirrel on Squirrel Action”) to downright sentimental (Mr. Immortal in “Days of X-Mas Past”).

I’ve got to thank Mr. Slott and this stable of artists for producing what I’d easily consider my favorite comic of 2005. I can’t recommend this one enough (plus, it comes with your very own cut-out Flatman action figure!).

“Rhino Plastered”
Incredible Hulk #378
Marvel Comics
February 1991
Written by Peter David
Art by Bill Jaaska and Jeff Albrecht

This fill-in issue appeared just after all of the different Hulk personas were merged. Set in continuity during the grey Hulk era, issue #378 featured one of the most requested villains – the big, grey Rhino! Depressed on Christmas Eve, the Rhino tries to seek comfort with some bums (after all, supervillians never want to talk about football or “broads”). Naturally, they run in fear (he is a villain after all). Trying to hide his costume, Rhino knocks out a Salvation Army Santa and steals the costume. Before long, the Rhino has become a department store Santa and ends up slugging it out with the Hulk.

At the end of it all, will Hulk and Santa Rhino be able to show a little girl named Ginny the true meaning of Christmas? The answer is a resounding yes in a few of the most funny and absurd panels ever to come forth from Peter David’s mind.

“Be Good For Goodness Sake”
JSA #55
DC Comics
February 2004
Written by Geoff Johns
Art by Leonard Kirk, Keith Champagne & Wade Von Grawbadger

The proof of a good writer can often be found when they create good stories about silly characters. A point in favour for Mr. Johns can be found in this issue, which not only relates a cozy Christmas tale, but also reintroduces Ma “Red Tornado” Hunkle into modern continuity. Ma holds a place in comic book history as one of the earliest super-heroines, but at the end of the day, is often remembered for wearing a stew pot on her head as a helmet.

This issue shows Ma as the embodiment of year-round Christmas spirit and demonstrates the family ties in the JSA. This is a charming tale that mixes the Golden Age heroic ideals with a modern sense of character depth.

“Small Miracles”
Marvel Team-Up #127
Marvel Comics
March 1983
Written by J.M. DeMatties
Art by Kerry Gammill and Mike Esposito

MTU #127 features a pairing that, while not as bizarre as Superman/He-Man, is certainly right up there – Spider-Man and Uatu the Watcher. Peter Parker is spending Christmas Eve with his Aunt May and the boarders at her house. As it turns out, one of them has a long lost granddaughter who he had been hoping would turn up. As Peter hears this tale of woe, his Spider-senses start buzzing. Dashing out of the house (“to get some ice cream” *wink wink*) he encounters, Uatu. The Watcher says nothing, but passes Peter a small gemstone that shows the image of the granddaughter. As Spidey begins a race against time to find Bette Chekov, Uatu watches intensely. What possible reason could the Watcher have for finding Bette? Aw, he’s just a big softy…

"Jingle Narf"
Pinky and the Brain Christmas Special #1
DC Comics
January 1996
Written by David Cody Weiss and Bobbi JG Weiss
Art by Walter Carzon and Mike DeCarlo

Narf! Poit!

"Whadda you want to do tonight, Brain?"

Through a bizarre series of events (that somehow, actually make sense), Pinky and the Brain find themselves at the North Pole. The Brain's latest plan involves the pair of rodents masquerading as elves so that they can gain access to the world supply of Rattra toys (and you thought Xbox 360 was the hot gift this year).

Anyway, after successfully performing the "Happy Elf Dance" in their job interview and the most impressive use of sound effects ever (did you know that the SFX for something being glued is…wait for it…"Glue?"), the boys get their hands on the Rattra toys. Now I don't think I'm spoiling any sort of surprise by telling you that Pinky manages to bungle the Brain's plan. The funny thing is - I have absolutely no idea how. He shouts Rattra-a-go-go and than the toys take on his personality. Oh, well at least the story ends nicely with Pinky and the Brain walking off into the sunset…"What are we going to do tomorrow night?"

“Christmas Knight”
Starman #27
DC Comics
February 1997
Written by James Robinson
Art by Steve Yeowell & Wade Von Grawbadger

To paraphrase Jack Knight – how can you not stop to read this book when you see that Santa Claus is crying? Jack’s efforts to help “Santa” (actually a homeless man named Pete) are intercut with scenes of a Christmas party featuring the supporting cast. This story might be a little sentimental and the resolution a little too easy, but for a Christmas story it works. What Robinson manages to do is present a warming holiday tale that also showcases the strength of the Starman supporting cast.

This is a good example of why Starman was one of the most entertaining superhero comics of the past 10 years.

The Tick’s Big Yule Log Special #1
New England Comics Press
1997
Written by Ben Edlund, Sean Wang & Eli Stone
Art by Sean Wang, Jeff Whiting & Eli Stone

An abominable snowman named Flakey. Snow angels that result in dislocated shoulders and nakedness. Yes, TTBYLS was one of the “new” Tick stories that came very close to capturing the insanity of the original series. A trip to the mall finds Tick portraying Santa while he and Arthur square off against a rogue elf and Gary the Flaming Coalman (“He’s burning his own sidekick…Don’t worry Arthur, I’d never do that to you.”). After your fill of frozen justice, there’s a flipbook in which Arthur tries (in vain) to explain Hanukkah to the Tick. This issue is great fun, with just a touch of Christmas sentimentality.

“I’ll Be Doom For Christmas”
What The--?! #10
Marvel Comics
January 1991
Written by Scott Lobdell and others
Art by John Byrne and others

You just can’t go wrong with a Dr. Doom Christmas story. Set to The Night Before Christmas, the story sees Santa make the near fatal mistake of landing on Castle Doom. Naturally, Santa is injured by Doom’s defenses. Recouping in bed, Santa makes the pled to Doom “Take my place, Victor – the world is counting on you.” Thus begins the legend of Santa Doom. Feel Doom’s pain when he learns the Avengers buy gifts for their enemies, thrill to the duel between Santa Doom and Marvel’s heroes and learn Victor’s one true desire. As always, there are plenty of great back-up features, including the debut of the dynamic duo of Milk and Cookies (fighting Col. Gate and S’aanta).

So there’s some of my favorite Christmas comic books.  If you have some favorite holiday titles you’d like to share, click on the “discuss” link below and post them on the Lowdown message board.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good read!